Psychologists share red flag signs that your partner is 'breadcrumbing' you in a relationship

A study has revealed the top signs you may be in a relationship with a partner who is 'breadcrumbing' you.

Dating is a minefield even at the best of times and I hate to say it, but now even if you reach the next step of the relationship stage, you're still not safe.

A study by psychology researchers from The Maharaja Sayajirao University of Baroda and University of Castilla-La Mancha has revealed what 'breadcrumbing' is and what the tell-tale signs to look out for.

The study - titled Young Adults' Perception of Breadcrumbing Victimization in Dating Relationships - explains breadcrumbing is a form of manipulation and 'a negative dating behavior that involves repeatedly tossing out just enough titbits of interest to keep another person interested and involved, where the breadcrumber is not truly interested in the person they are dating and is only using the relationship to gain a superficial connection and attention from them'.

An example is 'the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (i.e., breadcrumbs) in order to lure a sexual/romantic partner without expending much effort'.

But how do you know if you've become a victim of it? Well, thankfully there several major flags on what to keep an eye out for.

There are some red flags which could signify you're being breadcrumbed (Getty Stock Images/ Maria Korneeva)

On-off affection

The first sign of someone who may be guilty of breadcrumbing is they give compliments, flirt and show romantic interest but in an intermittent way.

They blow hot and cold, so one minute you think they really like you, are texting you all the time and want to see you but the next, they've gone AWOL and it can feel like you don't even exist.

Now, this can just typically happen when you're first starting to get to know someone and aren't quite sure you want to put all your eggs fully in their basket, but there are other ways to figure out if they're really a breadcrumber.

One sign is someone blowing hot and cold (Getty Stock Images/ Jose Luis Pelaez Inc)

Avoiding confrontation and commitment

If you've got to the 'So what are we?' stage and they're not giving you an answer and don't want to solidify what your relationship is, run, don't walk.

But if you've made it past that stage and are with your partner, alarm bells should still ring if your partner is reluctant to ever chat about a future together or discusses their future with no mention of you in it.

And while confrontation is never nice, if they're avoiding having the difficult conversations - which ultimately help you both understand each other and each other's communication styles more - then this shows they may not be thinking long-term about your relationship either.

Avoiding confrontation can be a sign (Getty Stock Images/ Vladimir Vladimirov)

Manipulative or deceptive behaviour

If your partner is gaslighting you and making you doubt your own version of reality to suit their own narrative, this could be a huge red flag they're breadcrumbing you and just using you for their own needs, as and when they want, but not thinking about yours too.

The study revealed 56 percent of people involved said their partners 'were hiding their other sexual relationships from them' and that 44 percent said their partners 'kept them on the hook by not taking things further or not ending things'.

"We also noticed some potential gaslighting behaviors, such as making it seem like it is the breadcrumbie’s fault for seeking commitment (22 percent); a decrease in responsibility or not taking responsibility for their actions; the denial of making any commitments; blaming their ex-partners for the failure of their relationships; not disclosing their real intentions of being in the relationship and making their partner feel insecure about themselves," the study adds.

Gaslighting can also be a tell-tale sign (Getty Stock Images/ Noel Hendrickson)

Breadcrumbing can not only cause symptoms of depression in those who are subjected to it, but it can impact future relationships too and someone's ability to trust and feel safe.

It's important to remember domestic abuse doesn't just include violence but emotional abuse too.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, please know that you are not alone. You can talk in confidence to the national domestic violence helpline Refuge on 0808 2000 247, available 24/7, or via live chat, available 3pm-10pm, Monday to Friday.

Topics: Health, Mental Health, Sex and Relationships, Dating trends, Domestic Abuse

Poppy Bilderbeck

Poppy Bilderbeck is a Senior Journalist at LADbible Group. She graduated from The University of Manchester in 2021 with a First in English Literature and Drama, where alongside her studies she was Editor-in-Chief of The Tab Manchester. Poppy is most comfortable when chatting about all things mental health, is proving a drama degree is far from useless by watching and reviewing as many TV shows and films as possible and is such a crisp fanatic the office has been forced to release them in batches.