A doctor has talked about the 'bird test' and how it might be something you can use if you're unsure whether your partner is a narcissist or not.
First things first we'd better explain what the 'bird test' is.
In essence, it's a test you can put a partner through to try and gauge how interested they are in you and what you're doing.
Basically, if you're with your partner then you say you just saw a bird and then watch for their reaction about this thing you deemed important enough to speak about.
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In theory if they're interested in you and what you're showing an interest in they'll respond with curiosity and want to know about the bird.
On the other hand, if they're not interested in engaging with you about this bird you're clearly fascinated by it could be a bad sign as they just passed up a moment to interact and connect with you.
Personally, I think you ought to take the 'bird test' with a pinch of salt as asking questions of your partner about some small and specifically insignificant detail as a secret test of how into the relationship they are is liable to fail.
They may have other, more serious concerns preying on their mind which mean they're unable to muster up the requisite enthusiasm for a bird you spotted, and a relationship where people are going round testing each other at random doesn't sound like it would butter my crumpets.
As for what this has got to do with your partner potentially being a narcissist or not, Dr Ramani Durvasula said that it was all about where you were in the relationship.
She said: "If it's the beginning of the relationship and you're acutely in the love bombed phase they may actually make the effort to engage with your bird pointing out behaviour.
"Narcissistic folks can engage in good, engaged behaviour for short sprints, enough to win you over, earn your trust or show you what a great partner they are in front of other people."
The doc noted that if you asked the question early in the relationship or had others around to witness then they might show an interest.
However, if there wasn't anybody about besides the two of you and it's not in those heady early days of romance then the doctor said 'hell no' to the chances that they'd engage with you on it.
Instead she said the 'most common reactions' you were likely to get were 'contempt', 'neglect' or 'dismissiveness'.
In some cases she said you could even get 'mockery' or just not even get a response at all.
She said she thought 'it doesn't seem that most narcissistic relationships would pass' when it came to the test.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Weird, Mental Health
Joe Harker