Hospice nurse shares the top three regrets she hears from people moments before they die
There are certain things that are universal when it comes to life and death, but three things stand out the most.
We have covered a lot regarding the final words or actions of those who are at the end of their life, and it can vary quite a lot depending on the person.
From having visions of angels to the most common phrases they use before dying, there is a lot that goes into the end stages of life.
However, what about their biggest regrets?
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That’s where hospice nurse Hadley comes into it.
As a registered nurse and professional who takes care of people during their last moments on Earth, she has a list of the three most common things her patients regret.
You can’t take it with you when you go
Hadley shared that many of her patients have taught her: “Don’t chase material things, chase happy memories.”
She explained that often, ‘they wish they would have spent more time with family.’
Stop waiting for the perfect time. Start now!
‘Not pursuing a task because of the amount of time it would take to complete it’, is the next regret.
Hadley shared that someone once told her that ‘they wish they would have understood that the time passes anyway so that the beginning of the task, five to ten years might seem like a long time, but five to ten years is going to pass regardless and you can either have accomplished the dream or not'.
Do things for yourself, not for others
Lastly, it’s putting yourself first.
The nurse described having a lady as a patient who regretted not going for the things she wanted to do as she was concerned that her neighbour down the road would judge her. But ultimately, at the end of her life, she realised that the woman she was so worried about talking about her died in the end and could no longer speak ill of her choices.
Essentially, she began to understand that we all die, and so living your life for yourself is the only priority you should have.
A viewer understood exactly what Hadley was saying as she had experienced a similar wakeup call.
They wrote: “I have had the unusual experience of having been told I was about to die, and also being told that I could die at any moment. That was a number of years ago, but being so close to death changed me completely. I warn you all that when you are about to die you will wish to have watched more sunsets, and concentrated more on people and the things that REALLY matter. At the end, a lot of human exertions look remarkably silly and pointless.”
End of life regrets are common, but they generally have the term, ‘I wish’ preceding the regret, says death doula Katie Costello, who recently took part in a roundtable discussion on death for LADbible TV.
Katie explained: "The thing I hear most from people is just the general day-to-day 'I wish'. The one thing I hear most often from people is the 'I should of done this' [or] 'I wish I had gone there... and it's never material stuff.
"It's always connected to the memory they wish they would've made, the place they wish they would've visited."
Britt Jones