A psychotherapist has revealed exactly how people can stop their 'tossing' habit, which could also be a sign of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
We can thank social media for coining the phrase, but 'tossing' has become more common among people in recent times as some became aware of it through a TikTok trend that went viral last year.
The term 'tossing' came to light after something called a DOOM pile also did the rounds, with the acronym meaning 'didn't organise, only moved' according to ADDitude - with several people relating to it that you'd imagine.
What is 'tossing'?
No, it's nothing sexual and yes, it seems to have a link to those with ADHD, according to several experts.
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A DOOM pile can consist of a number of things, whether it be bills and receipts that you've put off sorting out, clothes you need to fold, or some things that you need to put away, it can build up to the point of you not wanting to sort it out.
But this is where the link with ADHD-ers come in, as they are more likely to become overwhelmed with tasks piling up and getting harder around them - which results in them 'tossing'.
This basically means that you end up throwing everything out, tossing it in the rubbish without going through it and doing what you need to do.
Author and ADHD advocate and educator, Cate Osborn spoke on the subject to Huffington Post, admitting that she has 'tossed' before, while revealing that she struggles with task prioritisation and time management, resulting in choice paralysis as she ends up asking: “What should I keep? What if I need it? What if it’s useful later on.”
Psychologist Madison Perry said it is similar to opening to many internet tabs at once, explaining that 'people with ADHD have too many mental tabs open at once', which can result in feeling overwhelmed.
Psychotherapist Oliver Drakeford also describes tossing as an 'automatic, reactive behaviour that helps people avoid feelings of uncertainty, anxiety and overwhelm'.
So, how do you stop this habit if you are a 'tosser' yourself?
Well firstly, get your mind out of the gutter - and secondly, follow these four bullet points outlined by the experts that aims to change people's perspectives on the bad habit.
Think about why you toss
It may seem obvious, but Drakeford says that becoming aware of your emotions that drive your actions is the first step.
“If you’re not conscious of feelings like anxiety, uncertainty, or stress, you’re more likely to operate on autopilot and resort to tossing things impulsively,” he explained.
Recognising your emotional state means that you can address these feelings you may get while tossing and carry it out in a more thoughtful and mindful way.
Don't be afraid to throw clutter away
Some things are good to toss, such as take-away containers or old receipts, but Osborn explains that it's important to distinguish whether you're keeping it there 'just cause', or if it adds something to your everyday life.
“I think as people with ADHD it’s important to try to avoid being wasteful and contributing to piles of plastic in our landfills, but sometimes, taking ownership of our space means making hard choices and having to decide where we draw the line,” she said.
Osborn says that if it is impacting your quality of life, it's time to toss.
The '10 Things Game'
An ADHD brain will think that it needs to do everything all in one go, often causing stress and anxiety - the root cause of a DOOM pile.
But Drakeford suggests trying the '10 Things Game' as a method of carrying out tasks, explaining: “For example, instead of tackling an entire stack of bills, start by opening just 10.
“Or instead of cleaning the whole kitchen, begin with washing 10 dishes. Completing these small tasks often feels manageable, and if it does, you can always do 10 more.”
He then added that you should have a two-minute rule - where if something takes you less than two minutes to complete - do it now to avoid putting things off.
Be nice to yourself
It may seem difficult, but it's crucial that you make yourself feel nice while trying to improve on your bad habits.
Osborn highlighted that there are a lot of harsh comments directed to those with ADHD, which is often accusations of being lazy or immature for putting things off.
“It’s not that we aren’t trying hard enough, it’s not that we’re lazy, it’s that our brains literally process information differently, and those differences really show up in situations like this,” she explained.
"When you’re talking about ADHD, you’re not talking about a couple of easy steps like 'sit down, go through the box, donate'...
“It’s not fun to feel so overwhelmed by a pile of stuff you throw it in the trash. When we do that, it’s because it’s a last resort." the expert highlighted.
“While you’re working through this, remember to be kind to yourself.”
Topics: Mental Health, ADHD, Social Media, Lifestyle
Joshua Nair