*WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT*
A rapper who lost half his skull in an accident has said he's paying the price for a 'huge mistake'.
Niko Brenner, from Cologne, Germany, had been cooking cannabis oil in butane gas when the bottles exploded from a spark produced by his fridge, blasting him through the window of his basement studio.
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His head was so severely injured that surgeons had to remove half of his skull, with huge segments removed as his brain began to swell.
Since the accident in February 2017, he's undergone dozens of operations and has suffered four strokes, which have left him paralysed on one side and reliant on a wheelchair and a walking aid.
"Forty percent of the surface of my skin is burned," the 37-year-old said.
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"I've had almost 50 surgeries so far."
Niko - who makes music under the name Dr. Knarf - has a six-year-old son, and it is hard for him to come to terms with how the accident will impact his life.
Recalling the first time he saw himself after the blast, he said: "It was an absolute shock. I looked like a monster.
"My son was one year old at the time. I was terrified that he would even recognise me.
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"It hurts a lot that I will never be able to climb a tree with my son."
Niko said it is theoretically possible to reconstruct his skull bone with an implant, 'but the problem is that there is not enough scalp due to the burns to reinsert a skull bone replacement'.
A balloon with a saline solution was used to expand the skin, but several attempts failed.
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"The balloon had to be removed with severe pain," he said.
In the immediate aftermath, it was not clear that he would pull through at all, but the impact has been life-changing.
Listing the changes, he said: "Not walking, not being able to move properly anymore.
"It saddens me not to be able to play the guitar, piano and keyboards anymore."
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The toll on the rapper has not just been physical and psychological, but financial too.
He said: "I owe €250,000 (£212,750) for hospital costs and had to file for personal bankruptcy."
On top of all that, he is also threatened with a trial for trading in narcotics and negligently causing an explosive blast.
Niko said: "I made a huge mistake, drove my whole life up against the wall - and I'm paying the price for it."
But these setbacks have not deterred the rapper, who has been archiving files for a historical research office since 2019.
He said: "Giving up is not an option, you have to keep going somehow.
"Before, I was very egocentric and selfish. One insight I am grateful for today is a great deal of humility."
Topics: Drugs