Relationship expert shares the nine things you should never say to your partner

Although one might come in handy for a few couples, there isn't a rule book for relationships.

You might have already learnt plenty of lessons on love before you struck up your latest romance, but you can't take a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to dating, as everyone's version of a good partner is different.

However, there are some techniques which you can refer to which could help you keep your love life on track.

Some couples swear the 80/20 rule is the secret to their longevity, while others reckon that the 7-7-7 method is what has kept their spark alive - and according to this expert, knowing when to keep your mouth shut will also work wonders.

Marriage and family therapist Shari Foos explained that ultimately, the success of your relationship depends on how well you communicate with one another.

"Before you speak, take a beat to consider the impact of what you want to say," Shari, who is the founder nonprofit group program, The Narrative Method, which aims to combat the 'epidemic of loneliness', told Good Housekeeping.

"Try to anticipate how the information might make your partner feel, so you can show empathy to them while expressing what you want to say. Try writing out what you want to communicate from your perspective.

"Then edit it until you feel you can say it compassionately without skirting the truth."

Experts say the way you communicate with your partner is key to a long-lasting relationship. (Getty Stock Photo)

So, if you want to avoid any trouble in paradise, take a look at what these relationship experts recommend to never utter to your other half - or on your head be it.

'I don't care'

You might think you look really cool and unbothered by saying you simply 'don't care' about your row, but Shari says you shouldn't say it unless your really ready to call it a day.

She explained: "Even if that's how you're feeling in the moment, even if you're ready to break up, why bother having a conversation if you don't want to try to understand each other?

"It's not worth the temporary relief of blurting out your feelings when you're putting your partner's vulnerability and the future of your relationship at risk."

She suggests 'choosing your words' wisely and being hyper-vigilant about what your body language is showing.

'You're overreacting'

It's important to validate your partner's feelings (Getty Stock Photo)

Psychologist Catherine Nobile told the publication that dismissing their emotions instead 'comes off as blaming'.

"It shuts your partner's experience down and effectively sends the message that they are the problem," she said.

Instead, sit down with your partner and listen to what they have to say, while ensuring that you are being receptive to their honesty.

'It's none of your business'

Although keeping your cards close to your chest might have been all cute and mysterious when you were single, you can't expect the person you're romantically involved with to not want to know the ins and outs of your life.

But if you tell them to keep their nose out, don't be surprised if they suspect that you have something to hide.

Amy Lorin, a psychotherapist and author, pointed out that you can still retain your independence and privacy, however, chucking out this line during an argument will only breed distrust as 'secrets can be harmful'.

She said: "If you want to keep something private, explain that you don’t want to share a social media password, or you aren’t going to talk about a private conversation you had with a family member because you're setting a boundary surrounding your privacy, not because it’s not their business."

'Maybe we should split up'

New York-based relationship therapist Stephanie Manes advised couples to steer clear of suggesting a break up if you are trying to get your significant other 'to take your complaints seriously or to change in the direction you want them to'.

"In a moment of intense frustration or hopelessness, it's a natural reflex to say. 'I give up!' But if you keep saying it, you amplify the feeling that your whole relationship is on shaky ground," she explained.

Rather than teasing the fact that you could walk away from them, concentrate on addressing the issue at hand.

There's a way to go about raising issues, such as sharing more responsibility, with your other half (Getty Stock Photo)

'Why do I have to do everything?'

We all want to feel as though our partner lightens the load and that it is the two of you against the world - but if one is pulling their weight more than the other, resentment will soon arise.

Morin said: "You’re discounting everything your partner contributes to the relationship. It won’t motivate them to change their behaviour. Instead, it implies you're a martyr and they’re taking advantage of your kindness."

'Why can't you be more like my ex?'

They say that comparison is the thief of joy - so why on earth would you want to pit your new partner up against your ex?

Manes reckons this is a real 'low blow' which puts your other half 'in competition' with your former flame.

She explained: "It creates relationship insecurity and decreases the likelihood that complaint will ever actually be heard."

Nobile added: "Comparisons can also breed jealousy and resentment toward the person they are being compared to, adding unnecessary tension to the relationship."

Try seeing the good in your partner and all their amazing qualities - because at the end of the day, it didn't work out with your ex for a reason.

Sneaking low blows in the heat of the moment will just leave you both upset (Getty Stock Photo)

'It's all your fault'

Shifting the full blame onto one party when your relationship hits the skids isn't exactly fair.

"It takes two people to contribute to problems and both people have responsibility for repairing them," Morin said.

You're meant to be a team, so see how you can help the other combat whatever issues they need to overcome by preparing a plan of action together.

'You're...*insert expletives*'

Calling your boo every name under the sun is never going to hold your relationship in good stead.

Nobile explained: "Speaking to a romantic partner with contempt is the largest predictor of ending a relationship.

"By speaking to your partner as though they're beneath you, you are attacking safety, trust and respect in the relationship.

"Research shows that contempt has negative effects on physical, psychological and relational health."

'You always...' or 'You never...'

It's easy to exaggerate during the heat of the moment and imply that they 'never' do romantic things for you and 'always' prioritise other things over your relationships, but in reality, this is often not the case.

You wouldn't remain together if that was in fact true, but repeating these sentences to your partner will likely make them think that you only see the negatives, rather than any positives.

Manes explained: "Making broad, sweeping, negative statements about your partner suggests that you only see what they do wrong, not what they also get right.

"And it's an open invitation for them to argue why your statement isn't true. In either case, you miss the chance to have them actually listen to you."

Foos added: "If the same issue continues to arise and it remains unsettled then the two of you have to put yourselves aside to appreciate each other's thoughts and feelings.

"We have to humbly appreciate that we can never truly know what another person is feeling no matter how well you think you know them or how many times you've been through 'this same issue'."