Signs your partner is ‘future faking’ as psychologist explains why it’s commonly used by narcissists

Planning out your future with your partner is one of the most exciting parts about embarking on a new relationship, as it seems like there are endless possibilities for the pair of you.

It's easy to get swept up into the fantasy when you meet someone special and let your guard is down, but be careful that they are not just telling you exactly what you want to hear.

If all of their promises never come to fruition, it might be a sign that something isn't right with your romance.

When you're both as enthusiastic as each other, that's even better - but be wary if your other half somehow always has the perfect excuse to dodge actually delivering on their commitments.

If this is the case, there is a high chance that you might have been sold a dream by a narcissist, and I hate to break it to you, but they probably won't ever deliver on it.

It's what's known as 'future faking' - a dating trend which describes a manipulation tactic, often used by someone with narcissistic tendencies, to please you in the present moment for their own gain later on down the line.

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What is 'future faking'?

Spinning these stories about how incredible your life could be together ensures that you remain spellbound and under their control - as why would you leave them when the things you have been waiting for are just around the corner?

Joel Frank, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and owner of Duality Psychological Services explained future faking is used to 'shift attention away from the present moment to the future, so they can maintain control over the relationship and avoid taking accountability for their actions'.

These kinds of people can delay their commitments until the cows come home and smooth things over with you by swearing to do something at some point in the future.

International psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist, Patrice Le Goy, explained that 'future fakers' in the romantic world tend to make false promises to cast themselves in a positive light.

What do you need to watch out for if you think your partner is 'future faking'?

She warned that people should look out for love bombing in their relationship, telling Popsugar that the perpetrator may 'shower you with gifts, claim you two are destined to be together, or demand a commitment'.

"This might feel good at first, but it can also be overwhelming since it's meant to feed the love bomber's ego rather than benefit the recipient," Le Goy said.

Another sign you've got partner with a penchant for future faking is if they use your insecurities against you. For example, if you were unhappy with your job, they might encourage you to leave and insist they will financially support you.

But really, you can't count on them to come through with it.

"It's really a way of taking over someone's life and taking their autonomy away," Le Goy added.

"Instead of empathising with you, the future faker's goal is to step in and solve the problem for you, which allows them to gain control in the relationship."

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What the psychologists say about 'future faking'?

The expert suggests that this manipulation tactic is commonly favoured by narcissists, as although they have delusions of grandeur, they are often plagued by self-doubt inside and don't want to be seen as anything less than perfect.

Dr Frank suggests people who are future fakers deal with their insecurities by 'building up a narcissistic supply' thanks to the reassurance and security being in a relationship brings them.

"This means having reassurance or developing relationships that disprove the internal beliefs they have about themselves of not being good enough. So, they'll look for a partner who tends to dive into relationships quickly and tells them how amazing their plans sound," he said.

But do they actually want to build a future with you or are they just faking it to get what they want? It's likely the latter.

Long story short, if it sounds too good to be true, nine times out of ten, it probably is.