'Sadfishing' is the trend people are doing at an increasing rate without even realising it.
You've definitely seen it on social media before, but for some reason, despite being present over the last decade or so, there's never been an outright name given to it.
Until now.
Advert
What is 'Sadfishing?'
It's essentially a type of wide-scale emotional manipulation, and though it may easily be confused with someone oversharing online, there is a difference to not.
Sadfishing is the phenomenon of purposely posting over emotional or overly sensitive content online about yourself to get sympathy or attention from friends and followers.
Advert
You've probably seen certain Instagram stories that fit in this criteria, with certain people shamelessly sadfishing their followers, no matter how bizarre the method.
The difference between attention-seeking and genuine calls for help should be drawn out though, as you don't want to ignore a struggling mate, but also you don't want to enable unhealthy behaviour that could be detrimental to your own mental health.
Psychologist Lienna Wilson, PsyD explains that people that 'post details about emotional difficulties to get sympathy' are doing it to fish 'for attention' instead of looking for compliments.
This could be videos of a person crying, posts about a break-up, a long explanation about why they hate their life, or more, according to psychologist Patrice Le Goy, PhD, LMFT.
Advert
She explains: "Perhaps it's something they're not able to process on their own and are looking for feedback like 'yes, the person who broke up with you was awful and they don't deserve you.'"
Why do people do it?
Some sadfish as they're used to sharing details of their life online, whether you may judge it to be too much, as being raised without a clear, reliable or supportive caregiver can contribute to the development of these types of behaviour.
Advert
Dr Wilson explains: "As a result, people engage in this type of reassurance-seeking behaviour because they're afraid of being abandoned," Dr. Wilson explains.
A 2023 study in BMC Psychology reveals that someone may turn to social media if they lack real-life support from friends, parents, or others - while other findings detail that it may be associated with substance-abuse, stress or reliance on denial to cope with things, according to a different study in Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking in 2024.
When someone is doing it on purpose for a reaction, it gives the user a dopamine hit when they get likes or replies, as it makes them feel acknowledged, says Dr Le Goy.
Is it always done with bad intentions?
Some people might be genuine with their posts on social media, and lack the 'social support or have never learned how to ask for support from their real-life friends,' according to Dr. Wilson.
Advert
"Sadfishing is regarded as manipulation because it's often ambiguous."
A sadfisher may have a 'victim personality type' though, as something is always wrong in their life but they're refusing to change.
Cutting them off could provoke a reaction from them, where they accuse you of being a bad friend - but if someone who actually wants help may post about a particular problem and seek advice, seeming attentive to feedback.
An easy way to sniff out how genuine they are is to ask to discuss the issue in real life, as if they want to keep it online, they aren't looking for an actual connection.
How should you respond to Sadfishing?
It's almost impossible to tell from social media alone if someone is going through something serious, or if they just watched something sad and feel down. Scoping out if the behaviour is a regular occurrence can help.
Dr Le Goy says: "You don't want to ignore someone who is genuinely struggling,
"If they make comments like, 'I don't want to live' or 'I don't deserve to be here', you should take that seriously."
However, it doesn't mean that you should answer every post or go around in circles with them when you try to help.
The psychology specialist advices that you text them directly, call them or organise to meet up so that you can offer your help, being genuine by asking about their mental well-being, offering your support instead of giving them gratification through social media interactions.
If your friend doesn't respond well to this kind of support as it isn't likes or views, or if they try to make you feel guilty, Dr. Wilson says to ask if you're really helping your friend with their sadfishing or if you just feel guilty and that you have to help.
They may need support from a mental health professional or someone else who is an expert in this field, which is okay.
Dr. Le Goy concludes by saying that we must sit with uncomfortable emotions from time to time, and to assess the situation by acknowledging your feelings instead of hitting reply and giving in to someone who may not be genuine.
Topics: Social Media, Mental Health, Instagram
Joshua Nair