Couples' therapist shares 10 signs that mean you're in a healthy relationship
You've probably heard about all of the signs which point to you being in a bad relationship.
We've told you what to look out for if you want to know whether your partner is planning on breaking up with you.
If you reckon you're dating a narcissist and want to know what signs to spot, we've got you covered there too.
Then there's the 10 signs that your relationship is toxic, which you definitely ought to be aware of and alert for to avoid being stuck with somebody bad for you.
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However, it's time to be a bit jollier and point out the 10 signs that you're in a healthy relationship, because it's always worth knowing you're living in the good times while they're still going.
Couples' therapist Jeff Guenther took to TikTok and shared his big talking points on the green flags in a relationship.
10 things I hate am willing to dislike about you
It would be difficult to say that you'd like absolutely everything about a person.
Even if you met your soulmate, there would likely be one or two blemishes in their otherwise marvellous character which might rub you up the wrong way, but the couples' therapist insisted that this wasn't a problem as long as they could accept you warts and all.
According to Guenther, it's useful to 'know what your partner doesn't like about you' and crucially understand that they've come to accept it.
Even if your nearest and dearest doesn't like some aspect of you it's important to know they can take you as you are.
You stay grounded
"When one person is activated, the other can act as a calming source that will help ground you," said the therapist of another important quality.
As much as you might want to help each other reach new heights together it's important that each half of the couple knows when it's time to get feet back down on the ground.
Everyone needs the licence to get excited or frustrated now and again, and what really helps is having a partner who doesn't belittle the passion but can help calm you back down, and trusts you to do the same for them.
Be yourself
This is relationship advice as old as time, but when you're in a healthy relationship you can comfortably be you without having to pretend to be a more palpable version of yourself.
Pretending to be someone else all the time sounds pretty exhausting, and Guenther explained: "You feel the most loved and super connected when you are being your authentic self."
If they love you for you that's got to be a good sign, and if you know you can be yourself that's liberating.
Solid as a rock
Ever been in a relationship where you feel like you're a whole and complete person who is strongly connected to your partner?
That's the holy grail right there.
The therapist said you should 'feel solid in the bond you share while maintaining a strong sense of self', so that's what to aim for.
Take 'no' for an answer
The word 'no' is a complete sentence, and in a healthy relationship your partner will respect you saying it.
Just because you're in a relationship with someone it doesn't mean you can't say no to them and set your boundaries.
A sign of a healthy relationship is someone who will respect the boundaries you put up and thus make you feel safe in establishing boundaries.
You don't want the person you love most in the world to become the reason you're doing things you're not comfortable with.
You can agree to disagree
Remember that dress that was either white and gold or black and blue?
Well it's a good visual example of what happens when people have a different perspective on the same thing and be basically fine with that.
The therapist said it was vital to know that people could hold different perspectives and 'they can both be true and valid'.
Playtime is fun
Ok, here's the one you were wanting to hear all about.
Sex is a component of pretty much any relationship and when it feels right, it's pretty damn terrific.
When your sex life with your partner feels 'playful, safe and confident' that's a honking massive green flag, and of course you'll be enjoying yourself as a result.
You know how to rebuild a bridge
Acquaintances agree, friends argue, lovers fight.
It's pretty much inevitable that you're going to fall out over something at some point in your relationship, and what comes afterwards is crucial for a healthy relationship.
The therapist said that having an ability to learn from falling out and repair the bond was really important.
You feel challenged
Ok, this one might sound a bit off-kilter with the rest of the list but according to Guenther 'being relationally and emotionally challenged' is 'good for your overall development'.
He acknowledged that it could feel uncomfortable at times, but being in the right relationship will help you grow as a person until you bloom like a pretty flower or emerge from your metaphorical cocoon as a beautiful butterfly.
You look good in their eyes
The last one on the list is so important for how you feel about yourself.
How your partner sees you is important, but how you think they see you is going to be swirling around your noggin.
If your better half sees you 'in a really positive light' that's incredibly good news for you, as you know that you're doing the right thing in the right person's eyes.
Plus, if they think you're a scorching hot slice of amazing person, then just think how happy they'll be to be with you.
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Joe Harker