![Nine experts all gave one piece of advice on how people can get better in bed](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/blt181190dc1fab9c22/665737fbe5604b82c3b7ac27/advice-in-bed.png)
Either you clicked on this because you need help learning how to get better in bed, or you let your curiosity get the better of you.
Whichever way you slice it you're someone who's looking to be satisfied.
Great sex is a frankly wonderful part of life, but when the time comes to perform there can be pressures to get it right.
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To help you out in the bedroom department Stylist gathered a sort of fellowship of the sex experts, and each one has a titillating tip for you to follow.
There's nine experts in total and each one reckons they have a way for you to enjoy yourself more in the bedroom, so you'd better listen well.
Deploy the 'sex sigh'
The noises you make in the bedroom are pretty important, you need to be letting your partner know whether you like what's going on or not.
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Bearing that in mind, sex tech brand Hot Octopus co-founder Julia Margo said you ought to use something called the 'sex sigh', which should let your partner know that whatever they're doing during the diddling is okilly dokilly.
She suggested that 'when it feels good, sigh it out' at a volume you're comfortable with, as there's no evidence that louder means you're having a better time.
!["Shouldn't we be wearing less clothes than this?" "Yeah, but it's a stock photo so there's a limit to what we can show." (Getty Stock Photo)](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/bltd041924b3f248c38/66575c3bc641621e7ae6065e/GettyImages-485246079.jpg)
45 minutes of fun
Life coach Alice Lovegood reckons the key to good lovemaking is to get a timer, set it for 45 minutes and crack on with some foreplay.
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For that time genitals should be out of the equation as though you and your partner were crotch-less Barbie and Ken dolls, and you should instead use the time to figure out other ways to have fun.
Lovegood suggested massages, bathing together or even exploring your kinky side as a way to build up the anticipation.
Ethically sourced free-range porn
You want everyone involved in the lovemaking to be having a good time, so Married at First Sight relationship expert Charlene Douglas recommends getting some ethical porn.
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That means everyone's having a good time on camera and not getting exploited, and then you should talk your partner through what you like about the scenario.
Douglas suggests telling your beau what you want to be doing from the video, and noted that even just talking about it could turn you on.
!["This is ethical porn, now let's get watching..." (Getty Stock Photo)](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/blt2f0c5555f767ef16/66575c7c781cc3028cfbcf1f/GettyImages-1321019869.jpg)
Let it goooo...
With great pressure to perform there can also be massive stage fright, so sexologist Emilie Lavinia said that when the reality doesn't match lofty expectations it can be a real downer.
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She said you ought to 'let go of all expectations' and turn your thinking around.
"Instead of thinking 'this isn’t working', the best thing to do is to reframe the situation and ask yourself, 'How can I make this work?'" was her advice to those of you going at it but feeling like you're not getting to where you want to be.
She also suggested setting some boundaries, so agreeing that certain parts of the body were off limits might focus you on what you could do instead.
"No sex please, we're anxious"
You've probably heard about the potential benefits of a break from sex already, but according to The Real Sex Education podcast host Cate Campbell it really can work.
She said: "Even when a couple’s sex life has waned, a sex ban can revitalise it, and for those having regular sex, a ban can ramp up desire and creativity."
Discuss what's going to be off the table for a while and what you can still do together, and in theory it'll be even more creative once you can go at it again.
![No sex? Don't worry, taking a break will make it all the sweeter when you resume. (Getty Stock Photo)](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/blt07e6965d2cd1d697/66575bed2b01d21525934f48/GettyImages-931804856.jpg)
Get hands on
Sex doesn't just have to mean sticking something into someone else, or vice versa, it's a beautiful spectrum that offers a banquet of delectable pleasures.
Some folks might be upset at the kind of sex they can't have, but relationship therapist Bima Loxley pointed out that there's plenty you can do with your hands to be better in the bedroom department.
"We can all get erect, we can all wank, finger, rub, stroke, tap, grind and feel pleasure," they said of the things to be done.
Take it slow
Love, sex and intimacy coach Sarah Rose Bright wants you to remember to 'enjoy the pleasure in each moment', as trying to make it a race to the finish could lead to anxiety.
Sex is as much about the journey as the destination, and the pressure to finish is not really great for anyone.
Slow it down and enjoy your time, very few people who've just had sex are thinking 'wow, I wish that had been over sooner'.
!["It's not working, you're just gonna have to tell me how you like it." (Getty Stock Photo)](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/bltdbe7ca01b70cd263/66575cb16eec42dfecd1d368/GettyImages-516046455.jpg)
Develop telepathic powers, or failing that communicate
Are you a mind reader?
If so then you've cracked this step and will be able to know exactly what your partner wants from you and what's working.
If not then remember the importance of COMMUNICATION.
Seriously, it cannot be overstated how vital it is to let your partner know what they should be doing as so many experts have said that communication is the holy grail.
That's something Emma Sayle has echoed, as she pointed out that being good in bed was a 'constant evolution' that comes with learning what your partner likes and developing your skills.
People don't tend to start as finely tuned f**k machines, they get good at sex by learning how to be good at giving someone something they want.
Go out and get what you want
Speaking of giving people what they want, life coach Aisha Paris Smith pointed out that from time to time you should make what you want to happen in the bedroom a reality.
She said you shouldn't be afraid to take the lead, do what you want to do (provided it's been consented to) and take some initiative.
If you want something to happen then take the necessary steps to make it so.
Topics: Sex and Relationships