Featured Image Credit: TikTok/@sextedmyboss
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Weird
Joe Harker
You'd be forgiven for thinking that in a story about a woman using her mum's sex toy that'd be the worst part of the tale to tell, but it gets so much worse.
I'll tell you right now that there's no shame in tapping out and reading something else, how about you read all about the boy with prosthetic legs whose raised thousands for charity?
If that doesn't float your proverbial boat then maybe you'd like to know the reason why the 'best before' date on crisps is always a Saturday.
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Perhaps we could interest you in the story of the woman who was frozen solid for hours but made a miraculous recovery and survived with pretty much no health problems.
Still here? Well, don't say we didn't warn you about the story of a woman finding and using her mum's sex toy... and that's not even the worst part.
Okie dokie, on your own head be it.
Recently a woman named Melissa asked the podcast Help, I Sexted My Boss for a spot of advice with a bit of a weird situation she'd found herself in.
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Hoping that etiquette coach William Hanson and DJ Jordan North could help her figure a few things out as she explained that she'd been housesitting for her parents while they'd been on holiday.
In that time she'd had a few glasses of wine and was looking under the bed for somewhere to plug in her phone charger when she found a rather eye-catching shoebox.
Letting curiosity get the better of her, and not for the first time in this story with disastrous consequences, she looked inside the shoebox and found that hidden inside it was her mum's massive dildo.
Instead of putting it back where she found it, washing her hands and drinking enough wine to forget the whole thing, she instead gave the sex toy a wash and used it for herself.
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While she certainly enjoyed herself in the moment she was about to be hit with a wave of regret as she realised that etched onto the sex toy were the words 'clone-a-willy', suggesting that the dildo was a replica of an actual person's ding-a-ling.
More specifically, Melissa said she realised the sex toy which 'hit all the right spots' was actually a replica of her dad's penis.
She asked the podcast: "How am I meant to proceed from here? What's your advice?"
In response, North shook Hanson's hand and told him 'it's been a great five years, this is it, we've peaked' before admitting he was 'actually speechless'.
As for any advice to help Melissa with her dilemma, what on earth is anyone supposed to say to a story like that which could help?
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Next time you're in your parents' house and find something which piques your curiosity maybe just leave it alone, and please don't insert it into yourself.
You can catch the full episode here.