Chechen warlord Ramzan Kadyrov has offered to help Elon Musk train to battle Vladimir Putin.
The tech billionaire challenged the Russian President to a fistfight this week, and we're not going to lie, we'd pay to see that.
But now Kadyrov, who is one of Putin's firmest loyalists with a bloodthirsty reputation, has cautioned Musk against a showdown with the Kremlin leader.
"I would not advise you to compete with Putin," he wrote in a lengthy Telegram post.
Kadyrov seemed amused in his response and appeared to jokingly refer to the SpaceX founder as a female called 'Elona'.
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He also offered up his personal assistance to help Musk prepare before facing Putin, adding it 'would look unsportsmanlike [for Putin to beat] a weaker opponent.'
The Chechen boss also noted how the Russian president has a black belt in judo, but said it was his experience as a 'world politician, strategist, a scourge of the West and the US' that would see him defeat Musk.
He then described the US tech icon as a 'businessman and Twitter blogger'.
Kadyrov advised Musk he could train at three different facilities to get him geared up for a showdown with Putin.
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The Tesla founder was invited to the Russian Special Forces University to get firearms training.
He was then encouraged to attend Fight Club Akhmat, named after his father and former Chechen ruler Akhmat Kadyrov, where Elon could be 'trained to take a punch'.
Finally, Musk could go to the Gronzy Chechen State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company to learn about 'black PR'.
It appears Elon enjoyed these suggestions because he's changed his name on Twitter to Elona.
He also added: "Thank you for the offer, but such excellent training would give me too much of an advantage.
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"If he is afraid to fight, I will agree to use only my left hand and I am not even left-handed."
Kadyrov's comments come after Elon Musk called out the Russian leader in a post on Twitter by typing out Putin’s name using the Russian alphabet.
“I hereby challenge Владимир Путин [Vladimir Putin] to single combat,” he wrote.
Musk then added: “Stakes are Україна [Ukraine],” also writing out the country’s name in its own language.
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About 20 minutes before volunteering to take on Putin, Musk also tweeted: “By the pricking of my thumbs.”
The line comes from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, and is used to allude to a sense of foreboding – followed in the play by the phrase: “Something wicked this way comes.”
Musk's tweet received an almost immediate response from the head of the Russia's space agency Roscosmos.
"You, little devil, are still young," said director general Dmitry Rogozin.
"Compete with me weakling; It would only be a waste of time. Overtake my brother first."
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Though it is Kadyrov's offer that Musk may find the most spine-chilling.
Kadyrov has repeatedly called for harsher attacks on Ukraine throughout the invasion.
The bloodthirsty leader claimed to be near Kyiv on Sunday with his soldiers, however didn't provide evidence to back that up.
His chestbeating is underpinned by a savage rule in the Russian republic.
According to Human Rights Watch, Kadyrov has led a crackdown on LGBTQ rights and is known for extensive use of torture, forced disappearances, and extrajudicial killings.
If you would like to donate to the Red Cross Emergency Appeal, which will help provide food, medicines and basic medical supplies, shelter and water to those in Ukraine, click here for more information.
Topics: Ukraine, Russia, Weird, Elon Musk, Vladimir Putin
Rachel Lang