A Floria man has taken wild to another level after he allegedly called police with a peculiar request.
Police from the Hernando Country Sheriff's Office said Thomas Eugene Colucci was concerned about drugs he had recently purchased.
Why on God's green earth you would notify authorities about your allegedly illegal activities is beyond us, but he had a pressing question he needed answered: is this legit.
The 41-year-old called 9-11 and asked them to come and test the drugs he had just bought from someone at a bar.
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He tested it himself but he was worried it was bath salts because it didn't give him the high he's used to.
He then really dug himself into a hole when he told officers he was an 'experienced drug user' who had used meth before and therefore he 'knew what it should feel like'.
He showed police two small baggies containing a white crystal-like substance, handing it over to one of the officers present.
Not only did Colucci want to have what he had purchased tested for authenticity, he hoped to keep others from buying 'fake' drugs.
He wanted police to 'put the person in trouble' for selling it to him in the first place, but alas, he could not provide any information about the shady dude he'd bought it from.
Unfortunately for Colucci, the substance in the baggies were in fact meth.
So, now that we've established that Colucci isn't the brightest light on the Christmas tree, it'll be no shock to discover that police promptly turned up and arrested him.
Police promptly put this Class A idiot in the back of a patrol vehicle, where he started experiencing chest pains.
He was later cleared by a doctor.
Colucci was then taken to the Hernando County Detention Centre on charges of possession of methamphetamine and two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia.
He was released on March 11 after posting $7,000 bail, Fox 13 News reports.
Meanwhile, the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office is now spruiking their new drug-testing service on social media, including this obvious joke in their news release.
"If you, or someone you know, have doubts about the authenticity of any illegal narcotics you have on-hand or have obtained from another person, the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office is pleased to provide this service, FREE of charge," the release said.
Rachel Lang