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'Death doula' reveals the most common regrets people have at the end of their life

Home> News> Health

Published 14:29 9 Oct 2024 GMT+1

'Death doula' reveals the most common regrets people have at the end of their life

If you ever needed a reminder to seize the day...

Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper

Featured Image Credit: LADbible / Getty Stock Image

Topics: Community, Health

Brenna Cooper
Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper is a journalist at LADbible. She graduated from the University of Sheffield with a degree in History, followed by an NCTJ accredited masters in Journalism. She began her career as a freelance writer for Digital Spy, where she wrote about all things TV, film and showbiz. Her favourite topics to cover are music, travel and any bizarre pop culture.

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@_brencoco

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A death doula has revealed the biggest regrets she often hears from patients who are in the final stages of life.

Coming to terms with our inevitable mortality is something that is often too much to handle for most of us; meaning we will most likely spend our days trying to think about literally anything else instead of wrapping our heads around the fact that one day we'll simply cease to exist.

However for people whose work involves death, the reality of human mortality is unavoidable - which often allows them to have a unique and valuable perspective on life.

One of those people is death doula Katie Costello, who recently took part in a roundtable discussion on death for LADbible TV, where she revealed the biggest regrets heard by patients at the end of their lives.

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So what is the biggest regret people have? Not making it to the top of the career ladder? Or failing to muster up the courage to tell a crush their true feelings?

Well, Katie explained: "The thing I hear most from people is just the general day-to-day 'I wish'."

Working alongside death can give you a unique perspective on life (YouTube/LADbibleTV)
Working alongside death can give you a unique perspective on life (YouTube/LADbibleTV)

She then went on to highlight that these regrets are very rarely, if ever, related to material wants but instead focused around having enjoyable experiences and making memories.

"The one thing I hear most often from people is the 'I should of done this' [or] 'I wish I had gone there... and it's never material stuff," she said.

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"It's always connected to the memory they wish they would've made, the place they wish they would've visited."

Katie wasn't the only person who believed their work had taught them to appreciate life more, with embalmer Martin Jeffrey adding: "I think we appreciate it [living] more than most people do. Tomorrow is not a given."

So if you were looking for a sign to focus your free-time on enjoying life and making memories with your loved ones, there you go.

Don't worry about the material things you don't have and instead spend your days exploring the world and making memories with loved ones, as this is what will stick out in your final moments.

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Katie's experience isn't a unique one either, with palliative care doctor Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider revealing that she often hears people on their deathbeds feeling remorseful about the things such as not spending more time with loved ones, not being present and working too much.

  • Doctor shares most common regrets terminally-ill patients have on their deathbeds
  • Former mortician explains surprising real reason most people leave the 'very fulfilling' job soon after starting
  • Hospice nurse reveals the one most common regret she hears from people moments before they die
  • GP answers people's six most common questions about their health

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