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Psychologist reveals three signs you're a ‘conversational narcissist’

Home> News> Health

Published 20:59 13 Aug 2024 GMT+1

Psychologist reveals three signs you're a ‘conversational narcissist’

Do any of these sound familiar?

Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Health, Mental Health

Brenna Cooper
Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper is a journalist at LADbible. She graduated from the University of Sheffield with a degree in History, followed by an NCTJ accredited masters in Journalism. She began her career as a freelance writer for Digital Spy, where she wrote about all things TV, film and showbiz. Her favourite topics to cover are music, travel and any bizarre pop culture.

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@_brencoco

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A psychologist has shared three signs your day-to-day interactions could suggest you are a conversational narcissist.

When people hear the word narcissist, they'll often think of the evil geniuses and psychopaths portrayed in various TV and film franchises.

However it's important to note that not every narcissist is a psychopath and not every person who displays narcissistic tendencies is a full-blown narcissist themselves.

Worried you could be guilty of conversational narcissist? Don't worry, a psychologist has recently shared three signs you could be a conversational narcissist with Forbes.

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No one wants to be labelled a narcissist. (Getty Stock Images)
No one wants to be labelled a narcissist. (Getty Stock Images)

What is a conversational narcissist?

A term originally coined by sociologist Charles Derber, a conversational narcissist is described as someone who always redirects conversations towards themselves.

Got rained on while on the way to work? Well the conversational narcissist not only got rained on but also fell in a puddle.

Feeling unwell? You can sure bet that the conversational narcissist is feeling even worse and wants you to know all about it.

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Essentially, a conversational narcissist is someone who is unable to take part in a conversation without turning it back to themself.

Making it all about them

The first of these red warning signs is that you can't engage in a conversation unless it involves talking about you.

As we mentioned earlier, a conversational narcissist will often look for ways to circle the discussion back to themselves, their life and achievements.

This isn't to say that you can never talk about yourself in a conversation - after all empathising with each other can lead to a building a deeper connection.

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The difference comes down to how their constant the reason why you're spending so much time talking about yourself: is it to relate to or comfort someone or just to show off?

If it's the latter, then you could be guilty of conversational narcissism.

Talking to a conversational narcissist can be draining on the listener. (Getty Stock Images)
Talking to a conversational narcissist can be draining on the listener. (Getty Stock Images)

Trying to relate becomes self-centred

As we discussed earlier, a key indicator of a conversational narcissist is someone who is unable to relate to someone else without making the topic of conversation about themself.

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US psychologist Mark Travers uses the example of a guest at the funeral using somebody else's grief as a springboard to garner sympathy.

Now this isn't to say that every misguided attempt at relating to another person is conversational narcissism, however, Travers adds that a conversational narcissist is to focused on one-upping everyone else to notice when they've overstepped the mark.

Lack of engagement with others

Another key indicator of a conversational narcissist is someone who neglects to ask others about their lives as it doesn't involve talking about themselves.

Worried you could be a conversational narcissist? Try practicing techniques such as active listening. (Getty Stock Images)
Worried you could be a conversational narcissist? Try practicing techniques such as active listening. (Getty Stock Images)

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However, Travers notes that anxiety, low self-esteem or poor social skills can be mistaken for conversational narcissism.

If you're worried about appearing as a conversational narcissist, practicing simple techniques such as active listening, asking supportive questions and holding back on giving advice unless asked can be good starting points to improve your interpersonal communications.

  • Diagnosed narcissist myth busts the five things 'everyone believes'
  • Psychotherapist says there are 10 key signs that someone in your life is a narcissist
  • NHS has shared four signs that may suggest you're suffering from borderline personality disorder
  • Diagnosed narcissist explains three manipulation tactics that he thought were normal behaviours

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