Woman who had sex addiction explained moment she realised it became a problem

A woman who overcame her sex addiction has revealed how she realised that her desire for intercourse had become a real problem.

Rebecca Barker, 43, revealed that she thought about sex constantly and the mother-of-three, from North Yorkshire, further explained that even when her partner was pleasuring her five times a day, she still wasn't satisfied.

She first became fixated on sex a couple of years after the birth of her third child in 2012, while she was also trying to wade through a 'period of depression'.

"I started to crave sex more frequently...until it became to the point where it was all I could think about," Rebecca previously told the BBC in 2018. "At its worst, even having sex five times a day wasn't enough."

The Brit said the compulsion soon became so overwhelming that she found it difficult to even leave the house.

Sex addiction is not currently recognised by the NHS, meaning a lot of people in the UK often struggle to know where to turn.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, this condition typically involves a person having an 'intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges or activities that can’t be controlled'.

It can have an impact on someone's health, mental state, relationships and career, among other things - just like a lot of other addictions do.

The experts added: "Although sex addiction involves activities that can be common to a sex life - such as masturbation, pornography, phone sex, cybersex, multiple partners and more - it’s when your sexual thoughts and activities consume your life that you may be considered to have a sexual addiction."

Rebecca Barker, 43, said she was constantly thinking about sex (BBC)

Detailing what effect it had on her, Rebecca explained: "I just couldn't get it off my mind. I felt like everything reminded me of it. I think it was linked to my depression and the lack of serotonin. I felt like my whole body was craving it.

"It was giving me the instant hit - and five minutes later, I wanted it again. I became a hermit, I stayed at home because I felt ashamed that it was all I could think about.

"Even though no-one could read my mind, it still felt very uncomfortable for me to be around other people."

The mum said that her partner initially seemed glad when she began asking him for sex multiple times a day, however, it soon began to cause trouble in their relationship.

"At first he was fine with it, but towards the end, he couldn't understand it at all," she said. "After a few months, he started to raise questions about why and where it was coming from.

"He accused me of having an affair - he thought I must have been feeling guilty about it and that's why I wanted sex with him."

Rebecca realised she 'needed a break' from her other half and went to stay with her mother, telling him that she 'needed to get better'.

The mum explained her relationship eventually broke down due to the compulsion (Getty Stock Photo)

"He let me go, then the relationship broke down very quickly after that," she said.

The mother then later got a new job and decided to move to France - which are changes which she credits with helping her recover.

"I made many lifestyle changes in order to get over the depression and the addiction and for me that has worked," Rebecca said. "I know it's [sex addiction] real. I've been through it, I've lived through it and thankfully, I've made a full recovery."

A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson previously shared some advice for others who think they might be in the same boat as Rebecca.

They directed Brits to look into services such as NHS Choices, which could help you get in touch with organisations such as Relate, Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous and The Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity.

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article, or would like to seek support or further information, you can contact Sex Addicts Anonymous on their website, where email addresses and phone numbers – including a dedicated women's line and LGBTQ+ contact – can be found.