The city of Edinburgh has been erupting into laughter over the last couple of weeks as 2024's Fringe Festival has been getting underway, but only one comedian can take the crown for the funniest joke.
Hundreds of humorists have been busting out their best material at the annual performance arts festival in the Scottish capital since it kicked off on 2 August, so there has been more than a few chuckles from the crowds.
But this year, it's a nautical-themed gag which seems to have tickled people the most.
A wisecrack made by comedian Mark Simmons has been voted as the 'Funniest Joke of the Fringe', seeing the 29-year-old scoop the award which is organised by TV channel U&Dave.
Advert
The funnyman, from Canterbury, Kent, really pushed the boat out with his puns for the popular festival and it paid off.
So, have you ever heard the one about the tiny boat?
The joke which saw the 'exceptional one-liner comedian' scoop the top spot was: "I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it."
Not bad for a bloke who only got into stand-up over a decade ago after his pal convinced him to take part in an open mic night, is it?
Well, the 2,000 members of the public who chose Simmons' pun from a shortlist drawn up by a judging panel made up of comedy critics seemed to think so.
He made the gag - which was ranked the best by 40 percent of those surveyed - during his PHB’s Free Fringe show at the Liquid Room Annexe.
Speaking of his triumph, Simmons hilariously said: "I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe. I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, I can’t understand it... I always gave 110 percent."
It's not the first time Simmons has managed to earn a spot on U&Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe list, as he previously earned second place in the rankings last year.
He has also previously place sixth and ninth in the competition in previous years.
The funnyman is debuting his More Jokes show at the Liquid Rooms Annexe until Saturday (24 August) while also juggling a 200-date UK tour, so he's got a lot on his plate.
Hey, it's not all plain sailing this comedy lark you know.
U&Dave channel director, Cherie Hall, U&Dave channel director, said this year’s shortlist 'features a hilarious blend of jokes that are sure to keep us laughing until the next Joke Of The Fringe'.
She added: "With the Joke Of The Fringe now in its 15th year, U&Dave is still committed to supporting great comedy and brilliant gags."
Congratulations, Simmons!
Top 15 jokes of Edinburgh Fringe 2024
1. “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.” – Mark Simmons
2. “I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward... two steps back.” – Alec Snook
3. “Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.” – Alex Kitson
4. “I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it.” – Arthur Smith
5. “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.” – Mark Simmons
6. “My dad used to say to me, ‘Pints, gallons, litres’ – which, I think, speaks volumes.” – Olaf Falafel
7. “British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons?” – Chelsea Birkby
8. “I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it.” – Masai Graham
9. “My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had.” – Zoë Coombs Marr
10. “The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati.” – Olaf Falafel
11. “I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person: my pronouns are ‘there there’.” – Sarah Keyworth
12. “I’ve got a girlfriend who never stops whining. I wish I’d never bought her that vineyard.” – Roger Swift
13. “Gay people are very bad at maths. We don’t naturally multiply.” – Lou Wall
14. “Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher.” – Sophie Duker
15. “Growing up rich is a hereditary condition. It affects one per cent of people.” – Olga Koch
Olivia Burke