Woman claims husband’s ‘blasé’ attitude towards initial minor symptoms cost him his life
A woman has said that her husband's 'blasé attitude' to his health problems 'cost him his life'.
Rachael Smith, 36, has opened up about what her 'soulmate' Dave, 58, was going through before he passed away on 28 May, 2024.
The chemical engineer consultant was said to have ignored the changes to his bowel movements and pain in his abdomen before he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on 2 February, 2024.
The cancer is found anywhere in the pancreas, which is an organ in the upper part of your stomach.
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Doctors who thought Dave's symptoms were down to old age noticed a rapid deterioration in his health and offered him limited chemotherapy treatment, which he refused.
After having cancer for three months, Dave lost four stone and said he was too ill to have chemo. He went from 12st 7lbs (79kg) stone to 8st 7lbs (54kg).
Rachel, a biologist from Newcastle, told PA Real Life: “His eyes were just wide open and he was just staring straight at me, I could see myself in his eyes, and he just took his last breath.
“They say people wait to die in the moment they want to die, and I actually think there’s some truth in that - he wanted me there and he wanted me to look at him when he was going.
“I held his hand and said that I loved him - it was traumatic but it was also a relief that he wasn’t in pain anymore.
“Dave’s blasé attitude to his health cost him his life.
“Dave is one of those who never got poorly. His health was something that I never worried about.”
The widow said she started to notice changes in Dave's bowel movements two and a half years ago.
“We laughed about it to begin with because whenever he went to the toilet, he would absolutely stink out the utility room, to the point where it made me feel a bit sick,” she said.
“There was a 23-year age gap between us but he was very, young looking man.
“Then in the last year, I really started to notice that he was just looking older.”
It was only in May 2023 when Dave went for an over-50s health check, which found that he was pre-diabetic.
A month later, symptoms of tummy pain got worse and Dave would eventually stop finishing his favourite meal, fillet steak and chips.
After agreeing to see a doctor, they put it down to diverticulitis, a condition which can cause abdominal pain and tends to affect people as they get older.
However, in January 2024, Dave was taken to A&E because he felt like was 'having a heart attack'.
That's when a CT scan confirmed he had lesions on his pancreas.
“Pardon my language, but it was just a complete s**tshow after that,” added Rachael.
“We went back to the hospital and he didn’t come out for two months.
“Whenever anybody looked at his CT scans and I looked at their faces, I knew it was bad.
“I’m a biologist and I didn’t appreciate when all the doctors told us it was a fast-moving cancer, just how quick it was - it was literally just growing and growing every day.
“He said he wanted to die at home with me by his side.
“I never want to see a soulmate die ever again, because that’s actually quite traumatic.”
Rachel advised: “Take your health seriously and be an advocate for your own health.
“I really hate it when people say pancreatic cancer is a silent killer.
“It was a collection of minor symptoms that really raised alarm bells for me and if I can see the problems, other people have got to be the same.
“The problem with pancreatic cancer is it just doesn’t make you unwell enough that you can’t do your job.
“You are better than any GP, it doesn’t matter how much experience they’ve got, you know your own body.”
Symptoms of pancreatic cancer
According to the NHS, symptoms can include:
- The whites of your eyes or your skin turn yellow
- Itchy skin, darker pee and paler poo
- Loss of appetite or losing weight
- Feeling tired or having no energy
- A high temperature, or feeling hot or shivery
- Feeling or being sick
- Diarrhoea or constipation
- Pain at the top part of your stomach
- Indigestion
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, contact Macmillan’s Cancer Support Line on 0808 808 00 00, 8am–8pm seven days a week.
Anish Vij