Woman who ripped own eyes out 'to save the world' has now transformed her life while learning to live with blindness

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A woman learning to live with blindness after horrifically gouging her own eyes out has revealed how she has transformed her life six years on from the incident.

Kaylee Muthart, 25, explained she was in the throes of drug addiction, recovering from a mental breakdown and going through a tumultuous breakup when the life-changing event took place in 2018 when she was just 20.

Although her memories of it are 'fuzzy' because she was 'hallucinating', she recalled how she was under the illusion that 'someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me'.

Speaking to Cosmopolitan, Kaylee - who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder - explained: "I thought everything would end abruptly and everyone would die if I didn't tear out my eyes immediately.

"I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket - it felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do.

"Because I could no longer see, I don't know if there was blood. But I know the drugs numbed the pain."

Kaylee Muthart horrifically blinded herself when she gouged her own eyes out (SWNS)

The harrowing incident unfolded outside of a church in her hometown of South Carolina and only came to a stop when a pastor heard her yelling, 'I want to see the light!', and ran out to restrain her.

Kaylee added: "He later said, when he found me, that I was holding my eyeballs in my hands. I had squished them, although they were somehow still attached to my head."

She was rushed to hospital, where doctors gave her the devastating news that she would be permanently blind.

But although the incident cost Kaylee her sight, it also proved to be the catalyst for major change in her life - as it saw her check into rehab to kick her drug habit for good, all while adjusting to not being able to see.

The 25-year-old also went to a school for the blind, and received her first pair of prosthetic eyes in 2020.

Now, six years on from the incident, Kaylee had incredibly got herself a job and intends to return to her studies.

Kaylee, who now lives in Florida with her partner Alex, revealed she washes dishes at a Jimmy Hula's restaurant to earn some cash while she is also completing her high school diploma.

Kaylee explained that she thought hurting herself would 'save the world' (SWNS)

She plans to then continue her studies in the field of neurobiology - which is the study of the nervous system and how the brain works - when she has achieved her qualification.

Reflecting on the 2018 incident, Kaylee said she often finds herself pondering about what her life would have been like if things played out differently.

"I try not to think too deeply about it but I guess it does happen," she told the Daily Star. "I guess when I open the window or crack the window for my cat in the morning, I wonder what it looks like out there.

"I think maybe God will help me see everything I have missed one day. I would like to see my loved ones get older, see what colour my cat is, I got him after I went blind.

"It's like, imagine someone explaining to you what a character on a TV show looked like. They could tell you all the different attributes but until you look at them you will never know, you just won't.

"Because I have seen before, my mind will not accept not seeing. They are called visual hallucinations and I kind of think of that as God not letting me be in the darkness."

The 25-year-old has now transformed her life (SWNS)

Kaylee explained that even though she may be blind, she isn't just in complete darkness but instead 'visualises silhouettes of what she thinks is there'.

Although it's a daily struggle, she explained that she sometimes 'thinks it's a blessing that she is blind', adding: "Because even nowadays, if I ever do get a drug craving, which is very little, but in addiction when you have used the needle, you can imagine the blood going into the syringe and that is an eyesight temptation.

"You can't really do it blind, you could do it I'm sure, but I don't know if it would be smart."

These days, Kaylee is concentrating on the positives - her boyfriend, her cat, getting back into music and even signing up for a gym membership.

She added: "We have a gym membership we are working on. I also have a guitar and I am planning on getting a piano.

"I only know like two songs on each but that is a passion of mine and singing too, so I go to karaoke on Monday nights."