A former Navy SEAL has revealed what ran through his mind when he was forced to take the life of another human being.
For Donald 'DJ' Shipley III, this was the hardest part of his job description to fulfil, especially as he was still 'just a baby' when he first went out into combat.
He joined the US Navy when he was just 17-years-old, before going on to follow in the footsteps of his beloved father by becoming a Navy SEAL six years later in 1984 - and he 'never looked back'.
Eventually, DJ went on to join SEAL Team 6, one of the most elite and secretive special operations units in the world, while operating in some of the most hostile environments on the planet.
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Although he retired in 2003 after nearly 25-years of serving his country, some of the things the dad-of-two witnessed during his career continue to 'weigh' on his mind.
Last month, he sat down with LADbible Stories to discuss the horrors he saw on the battlefield - including some which he was part of.
The retired Navy SEAL, who comes from a 'big military family', explained that he often had conflicting feelings towards taking the lives of enemy forces, as it 'really depends on the scenario'.
"When it's super reactionary, it scared the death out of you and you barely survive it," DJ said. "There's a huge adrenaline dump, and then it all drops down.
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"[Your] hands are really, really shaky, a full cortisol dump. In other times, there's no feeling at all. Like not a bit."
He explained this lack of emotion made him feel 'weird at first', until he realised that this is the life that he signed up for.
"This is just a game you play - you can't get all wrapped up in it, you can't wrap too much human emotion around it, or it will make you second guess the moment," DJ explained. "You just can't.
"You train the way you train, the exact way you're going to do it in reality, and try to not get too connected to it."
The former military man admits that this is easier said than done, though.
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DJ continued: "It's hard for a lot of it. The human aspect can't be ignored. I think that's the hardest thing for me."
He explained he was still 'super young' when he was first introduced to mortal combat, like a lot of Special Forces members and soldiers were when the 'Global War on Terror' was launched by ex-President George Bush in wake of 9/11.
"One of the things that stuck with me the most about...not really taking a life, but seeing the human aspect on the backside, was having to walk the family past [the deceased]," DJ went on.
"And that's their dad - they feel the same way about him as I do about mine. The same way you do about yours. That's a human element that you just can't get around.
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"Like, they freak. They start bawling and they look at you and it's [the realisation of], 'Oh my god, I did that'."
What DJ found even more difficult to deal with was watching these grief-stricken gazes 'turn to hatred' - which was directed at him.
"You can see it in their eyes," the former SEAL said. "They look at that, they look right at you and it just dials up. Buddy, I didn't want to. I didn't want to do that dude. I'm human too, but if I didn't, he's going to shoot me.
"They don't care if he's a terrorist, they don't care if he has a suicide vest on, they don't care. Now, they hate you.
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"And a lot of it weighs on you, depending on the scenario - how old they are. That one weighs on you."
DJ says that war changes a person in 'every way you could think'.
"You can't be the same person that you were, or else you wouldn't survive it," he added. "You have to evolve - and a lot of that is through training, culture, the actual unit you're with.
"But it has to change you. If you just took normal 9-5 people and just dump them in, that wouldn't be very successful. Ultimately, you have to be willing to evolve to achieve the mission."
Topics: Army, US News, Mental Health, Jobs
Olivia Burke