Brianna Ghey's mother explains why she was able to have sympathy for the mothers of her daughter's killers
Two years on from the devastating killing of her daughter, Esther Ghey has worked with ITV to explore how harmful and unregulated online content led to the death of her daughter and has caused untold suffering for countless numbers of young people worldwide.
Esther’s dedication to the memory of her daughter Brianna, a transgender girl of 16, is not only a story of resilience but also one of empathy, a journey which has allowed her to express sympathy and compassion for the mothers of her killers — even forming a friendship with one.
The 38-year-old mother of two speaks openly about how Brianna’s death has ripped a hole not only in her own life, acknowledging how the families of her daughter's killers also lost a child in February 2023.
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"I’ve got a lot of sympathy for the parents," Esther explained ahead of tonight's ITV documentary Brianna: A Mother's Story, adding that she could see how the mothers of the teenagers responsible (known then as Girl X and Boy Y during the trial) were ‘broken’ by the news that their teenage children were convicted killers.
Explaining how this meant Esther was able to find a common ground with the women, she told LADbible: "During the trial, I could see how much what those children had done had impacted their families as well.
"I felt that at that time, we were essentially both grieving our children because they, too had lost a child."
She also rejects the idea that parents are wholly responsible for the actions of their children, explaining how unregulated internet access can become an addiction for young people, noting how concerns about her own daughter's online habits led to 'fights and holes in the walls'.
“I think that we quite often as a society blame the parents when something goes wrong, but now the parents have kind of lost the ability to influence our children," Esther explained.
"They've got the whole world at their fingertips, and we don't know who is influencing our children.
"The more that I look into it, the more that I find out about how much harm is actually online. That's without even mentioning misinformation, misogyny, people encouraging young men to be misogynistic and graphic porn."
The horrifying depths of violent content readily available on the internet would be laid bare during the trial, with the court learning how the female assailant had a fascination with serial killers and would write down detailed plans about killing someone. This would be her second attempt at taking Brianna's life, with text messages between herself and Boy Y previously discussing plans to crush up painkillers into a McDonald's milkshake.
The pair both received a life sentence for their crime, with their identities later being revealed as Eddie Ratcliffe and Scarlett Jenkinson.
Although the pair are mentioned by name in the documentary they are not named in Esther's book Under a Pink Sky, which details how she used her grief to kickstart a campaign for social media reform.
Explaining how she came to this decision, Esther said that while she understands that Brianna's death is the 'catalyst' for her work, she wants to remember her daughter for who she was and not how she died.
"I kind of refuse to give them that attention, the book is about Brianna and about my relationship with Brianna, not the people that took her away from us," she said.
"I can't remember who it was that I'd read about. It was somebody else who had lost a child, and they said that every time there's a story about what's happened to their child, she sees the pictures of the perpetrators' faces. And yeah, I think I do agree with that as well... I think it is difficult to see their faces."
Although the documentary doesn't shy away from the heartbreaking details of Brianna's death, Esther's message of hope through her campaigning and mindfulness work is also evident.
"It's so important to me," she added. "I think one because it's Brianna's legacy, and I want to make sure that that's sustainable and keeps going forever, because I want everybody to remember Brianna."
Brianna: A Mother's Story airs tonight (27 March) at 9pm on ITV1. Stream an extended edition on ITVX.
Brenna Cooper