A 50-year-old man has revealed the real reasons why he hasn't had sex since 2005.
The Reddit user - who says he has been 'happily divorced' since 1998 after his 'ex wife cheated on me and had his baby' - has opened up on the platform about not having intercourse in nearly 20 years.
Initially, he claims that dating 'started off fine' but admits how difficult it's been 'being a single dad'.
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"And then after the years kept piling up, I lost interest in attempting to date and I let myself go even further," he wrote on Reddit's AMA feed.
"I wouldn’t say I’m abstinent, I would say low self esteem, no confidence, and I need to lose weight. All things I can work on, but have continuously ignored through the years," he also explained in the comments.
"I haven’t given up, I have just delayed a while. I’ll eventually get out of this funk I’m in and lose weight and start feeling better."
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He says he actually doesn't miss sex, but 'would rather have a woman in my life that I could do things with, or wake up next to'.
Although, the Reddit user insists that he needs to work on himself first before bringing in a partner to 'plug the holes'.
The divorcé claims he will not fall for prostitution because he's 'too paranoid to get an escort in the event they’re an undercover police'.
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"I know it’s unlikely, but I have a job that could be ruined if I was caught," he added.
"Finding a therapist would be my best option, and I know I need to do that, I just don’t have a lot of spare money to afford one.
"And look at this, still making excuses to not do what’s needed."
Meanwhile, other users told the man that his weight did not matter and that he needs to give himself a bit of a break.
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"Holy f**k. Dude, first of all, give yourself some grace. You were raising (or are raising) three kids by yourself. It’s totally expected that you’d have hardly any bandwidth for self care with that kind of responsibility," one person commented.
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"I hope you find time to work on yourself. Even a small change in your life is better than no change. Some days we have the energy for it, some days we don’t."
Someone else said: "Sex (with a partner) is overrated. I've been there/done that to the point sex is boring. (Father of eight kids)."
The Redditor wrote that he's grateful for the support he has since received.
"Thank you all for the questions, your private messages, and conversations we’ve had. I received a lot of advice and I am taking it all in," he penned.
"I wrote down some suggestions that were provided and I will hopefully follow through with them.
"At this time, I am going to stop answering questions."
If you're experiencing distressing thoughts and feelings, the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is there to support you. They're open from 5pm–midnight, 365 days a year. Their national number is 0800 58 58 58 and they also have a webchat service if you're not comfortable talking on the phone.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Reddit
Anish Vij