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Tourist moans England's third highest mountain is 'too hilly' in bizarre Tripadvisor post

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Published 11:13 16 Feb 2023 GMT

Tourist moans England's third highest mountain is 'too hilly' in bizarre Tripadvisor post

This is NOT what they signed up for

Jake Massey

Jake Massey

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Ever been to the beach and complained it was too sandy? Eaten an ice cream and moaned that it's too cold? Or gone to an Ed Sheeran gig and branded it boring?

Of course you haven't - you signed up for sand, cold and boredom.

However, there are frightening people among us who have no reservations at all about making such absurd complaints and sharing them with the world.

One such frightening human decided to have a day out at Helvellyn, in the Lake District - England's third highest mountain.

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It stands at an impressive 3,118ft (950m), and if you take a hike to the top, you'll be rewarded with stunning views.

Obviously though, that involves walking upwards. A lot. Basically a kilometre vertically towards the clouds.

But a recent visitor was having absolutely none of it.

"Far too hilly," they wrote alongside their one-star rating. "Spoiled a nice walk.

"There were also no facilities at the summit, not even a coffee shop."

They sealed this car crash of a review with one star out of five.

That mountain is way too hilly.
Simon Whaley Landscapes / Alamy Stock Photo

Fair enough, really. If they're gonna allow b*****d gradients to interfere with perfectly pleasant strolls then the least they could do is lay on baguettes and cappuccinos when you get to the top.

This incline whiner is not alone, either. Last month, another visitor left a one-star review, claiming it was the worst thing they'd ever done.

"I recently hiked Striding Edge in the Lake District and it was the worst experience of my life," they wrote.

"Firstly, I had to go to the bathroom halfway through the hike and there were no facilities. I ended up having to go behind a rock and it was extremely inconvenient. I mean, how could they not have a single toilet on this entire hike? Do they expect people to just hold it in or something? Ridiculous.

"Secondly, all the other hikers on the trail seemed to be annoyingly competent and made the hike look way too easy, bunch of smug gits!

Looks awful, doesn't it?
Adrian Chandler / Alamy Stock Photo

"To make matters worse, my girlfriend was complaining the entire time about how hard the hike was and how she wished we had just stayed at the hotel."

They continued: "And to top it all off, the views from the top were not even that impressive.

"I mean, seriously? That's all we get after all this hard work? A mediocre view of some hills and a lake? I've seen better views from my backyard.

"I would not recommend this hike to anyone. Save yourself the hassle and just stay at home. Trust me, you won't be missing out on anything."

So there you go folks - cancel that holiday, save yourself money and time, and have a good old stare at your screensaver.

Featured Image Credit: Clearview / Realimage / Alamy

Topics: Weird, Travel, UK News

Jake Massey
Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

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@jakesmassey

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