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Full list of 20 signs that suggest your partner is cheating as woman admits 14-year affair

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Published 11:46 27 Nov 2025 GMT

Full list of 20 signs that suggest your partner is cheating as woman admits 14-year affair

Her eight rules to get away with it overlap with the signs to look for

Jess Battison

Jess Battison

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As a woman admits to having a 14-year affair, it might be sparking a bit of fear over just how easily people seem to manage to get away with it.

Causing quite a fire storm of reaction, the 50-year-old went viral with her story as she even went as far as revealing her eight rules for keeping things on the down-low as she keeps her husband and kids in the dark.

And if you’re really paranoid about your partner doing you dirty too, then there’s even a private investigator who has opened up on the signs of cheating.

So with all of that combined, you’d think you’d have all the tools you’d need to catch out betrayal in your relationship. Well, you’d hope you do anyway.

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Apparently there are signs to look for. (Getty Stock Image)
Apparently there are signs to look for. (Getty Stock Image)

Private investigators’ most common signs

Tom Martin knows a thing or two when it comes to catching a cheater and even included his 20 ‘giveaway signs’ in the book, Seeing Life through Private Eyes.

But first off, he has four key things to look out for that suggest your partner might be straying.

First up, it’s if they’re suddenly spending a longer amount of time at work as Martin says any unexpected change in habit is worth taking note of.

And perhaps a textbook one, the private investigator says frequent ‘business trips may be a cause for concern. Again, if they’ve come out of nowhere, then take note.

Then, while fluctuations in how often you’re having sex is pretty normal, Martin claims it could also be a bit of a sign of unfaithfulness.

And finally, if your partner is getting very defensive, the expert says it’s a bit of a red flag that they’re hiding something.

The woman shared the deets on her 14-year affair. (Getty Stock)
The woman shared the deets on her 14-year affair. (Getty Stock)

Woman’s eight rules to ‘not get caught’

Now, we can easily draw some comparisons in Caroline’s story and Martin's rules as she revealed her rules to The Sun.

She meets up with her lover roughly every 10 days and neither of them have any intent to end their marriages and is guilty of often going on ‘work conferences’ – just as Martin suggested. But she says you shouldn’t be ‘greedy’ as if she saw more of him, then her husband may get suspicious.

So, her eight rules to avoid getting caught out by signs like the ones the private investigator highlights are as follows:


  1. Turn off apps that monitor location
  2. Tell only one confidante
  3. Stick to soft drinks as it's more business like
  4. Never mention new interests or change behaviour
  5. Expect the worst and always have an excuse
  6. Be vague and unavailable
  7. Choose a lover who is also married
  8. Don't get greedy with meet-ups
The woman says always has 'an excuse' and is 'vague' while the PI says to look out for defensiveness. (Getty Stock Image)
The woman says always has 'an excuse' and is 'vague' while the PI says to look out for defensiveness. (Getty Stock Image)

Martin’s full 20 signs

While the cheater might find it somewhat simple to follow Caroline's rules and keep their affair a secret, the private investigator has many things we can look out for in partners.

His full list of signs to keep an eye on if you’re suspicious in your relationship is:


  1. Sudden change of habits
  2. Leaving home early and coming back late - which is probably why Caroline turns off location monitoring, so keep an eye for that as well
  3. Numerous business trips
  4. Questionable holiday or family event absences
  5. A noticeable increase in overtime - just like how Caroline says not to be 'greedy'
  6. Unexplained spending
  7. Secret social media accounts (or emails)
  8. Hidden credit card bills
  9. Excessive grooming or self-care
  10. Smelling like someone else
  11. Buying presents you haven't seen
  12. Items that can't be explained - e.g. condoms in the car
  13. Suddenly joining a gym
  14. Missed calls from an unknown number
  15. Text messages that appear coded or secretive
  16. Less sex
  17. Evasiveness or defensiveness - again, just like how Caroline says to be 'vague' and have 'an excuse'
  18. They tell obvious lies
  19. Having a short temper - that goes with Caroline's 'expecting the worst'
  20. Dislike surprise visits (your unexpected arrival may come at an inconvenient time for a cheater)
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Jess Battison
Jess Battison

Jess is a Senior Journalist with a love of all things pop culture. Her main interests include asking everyone in the office what they're having for tea, waiting for a new series of The Traitors and losing her voice at a Beyoncé concert. She graduated with a first in Journalism from City, University of London in 2021.

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@jessbattison_

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