![Expert shares controversial thing you should do in first three months of dating someone to know if they're the one](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/blt629f8558ff0885c5/668e478f641c22818e274247/dating-three-month-expert-advice.png)
The first few months of dating can be the best moments in a relationship, and they can also show if it's likely to last or not.
Remember the talking stage where you’ll get giddy when your phone pings and rush to reply as fast as possible?
Or, when you’re going on your first date and you’re rushing around your room trying to put together the perfect outfit to show them you’re ideal relationship material?
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But those moments are not just for fun, they’re crucial for how you’ll know whether they’re the one or not.
Well, that is if you follow the advice of one relationship expert.
Forget quizzing each other on what the best movie of the decade was, what type of job they aspire to have or what their favourite colour is.
Instead, you need to be thinking outside of the box.
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![According to the expert, you should do this one controversial thing. Getty Stock Images](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/blt32941246b9ccdfef/668e48a1c4a41c66d49497f4/GettyImages-2042523045.jpg)
This unconventional tip might raise a few eyebrows, but according to Sami Wunder, it’s essential that you do it to know if they’re the one or not.
What should you do? Date around.
That’s right - forget exclusivity for the first three months with your new beau.
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You need to be going on dates with other people too.
The expert suggests either going out with more than one person at a time or waiting at least three months until you become official.
Now, I know it sounds like you’re cheating but if you’re not exclusive, it’s really just a technicality.
Consider yourself casual for 12 weeks and then circle back to decide whether or not you should change your Facebook status to ‘In a relationship’, which, as we know, is the only thing that matters.
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Not only does Wunder think you shouldn’t become exclusive, but they also state that you shouldn’t sleep with anyone until you become exclusive either.
So, that’s no sex for three months until you really know if they’re the one or not.
The Huffington Post reported Wunder as saying: “Take at least three months to vet people but don’t sleep with them in this timeline.
![They believe it'll help you to know if they're the one. Getty Stock Images](https://images.ladbible.com/resize?type=webp&quality=70&width=3840&fit=contain&gravity=auto&url=https://images.ladbiblegroup.com/v3/assets/bltcd74acc1d0a99f3a/blt65e91f5e9b825e24/668e48c4d5a223f76f7f5f0f/GettyImages-1445794835.jpg)
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“When you have sex, your body produces oxytocin, which is a powerful hormone, and can make it harder for you to spot red flags and see that your values don’t align.”
That...makes sense, says the author reluctantly.
But Wunder isn’t the only one who thinks this way, as relationship expert Dr Krishna Athal agrees, and wrote in The Times of India: “[Dating multiple people] allows you to explore your options and get to know different people with different interests and personalities. This can be a great way to learn more about yourself and what you want in a partner.”
However, this thought process isn’t too far off what a lot of people in the dating game believe these days.
According to YouGov, around one fifth of UK singles think that you should wait at least a month before getting jiggy between the sheets and also to wait around three months before confessing your love to someone.
It’s just a few months of waiting around to find out if they’re the one, so it's time well spent, if you ask me.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community, News