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Warning signs that show you may need a 'sleep divorce' from your partner

Home> Community

Published 12:39 18 Jul 2024 GMT+1

Warning signs that show you may need a 'sleep divorce' from your partner

An expert explained how a sleep divorce could help with a lack of physical intimacy in a relationship

Joshua Nair

Joshua Nair

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Photos

Topics: Sleep, Health, Lifestyle

Joshua Nair
Joshua Nair

Joshua Nair is a journalist at LADbible. Born in Malaysia and raised in Dubai, he has always been interested in writing about a range of subjects, from sports to trending pop culture news. After graduating from Oxford Brookes University with a BA in Media, Journalism and Publishing, he got a job freelance writing for SPORTbible while working in marketing before landing a full-time role at LADbible. Unfortunately, he's unhealthily obsessed with Manchester United, which takes its toll on his mental and physical health. Daily.

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@joshnair10

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You may not have heard of a 'sleep divorce' before, but experts think it could solve a number of problems with your partner.

The latest viral trend has taken social media by storm, to the point where celebrities such as Cameron Diaz have gone out of their way to endorse the method.

Research by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) revealed that 29 percent of US residents would choose to sleep apart from their partners.

It's a growing trend, and the main cause of it is the struggle to get a good night's sleep, as factors may constantly be disrupting your bedtime.

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It's harder than you think to get to this point. (Getty Stock Photo)
It's harder than you think to get to this point. (Getty Stock Photo)

What is a sleep divorce?

A 'sleep divorce' is essentially when couples choose to sleep in separate bedrooms.

The hashtag 'sleepdivorce' has over one million views on TikTok.

Obviously, not everyone has the space or means to have a second available bedroom in their home, but what is also described as a 'bedtime breakup' could improve your relationship.

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Here are some signs that indicate that you might need to try a sleep divorce.

Struggling to sleep

Heat is one of the biggest sleep disruptors, as Carolina Goncalves, superintendent pharmacist at Pharmica, explains: “The human body has an optimal temperature range, typically around 36.1°C to 37.2°C, for initiating and maintaining sleep.

“This range supports the body’s natural decline in core temperature, which is an important component of the sleep process.”

She further explains that when temperature rises in your surroundings, your body will struggle to dissipate heat effectively, which is crucial.

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“During sleep, particularly in the stages of deep and REM sleep, the body’s ability to regulate temperature diminishes, making it more challenging to cool down when it’s hot,” Goncalves says.

“This inability to effectively lower core temperature can lead to increased awakenings and a lighter sleep state, as the body repeatedly attempts to cool itself.”

The heat might be too much when you're sharing the bed with someone else. (Getty Stock Photo)
The heat might be too much when you're sharing the bed with someone else. (Getty Stock Photo)

A desire for space and coolness

The result of all that heat, broken sleep and discomfort in bed might push you to longing for your own space to sleep in, and a sleep divorce can give you exactly what you want.

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Long gone will be the sweaty, frustrated awakenings in the night, as sleep expert Alison Cullen says: “The additional heat provided by another body is definitely not helpful."

You can wave goodbye to the stick-one-leg-out-for-coolness technique, as with a sleep divorce you can control exactly how cold your room is, and how much of your bed you want to use.

Finding health benefits

Cullen explains: “Sleeping apart may seem like a negative step in a relationship, but if it means better sleep for either or both of the couple, the health benefits are likely to benefit their relationship too.”

Turns out that it can be a physical and mental positive to sleep apart from your partner, as she continues: “Feeling rested, restored, less achy, with fewer carb cravings and more energy is a great way to start a new phase in your connection.”

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The method is normalised in some parts of the world though, with several couples carrying it out in Scandinavia.

Another benefit is that you won't have to hear your partner snore anymore when you're struggling to sleep - arguably the biggest positive there.

You won't have to endure the snores anymore if you're having a sleep divorce. (Getty Stock Photo)
You won't have to endure the snores anymore if you're having a sleep divorce. (Getty Stock Photo)

A lack of intimacy

If you've found that intimacy has been at an all-time low in your couple, a sleep divorce could actually be your ticket out of the rut.

It sounds like it'll do the opposite, but Goncalves has explained how it can be beneficial.

She said: "Sleeping in separate beds can provide couples with the opportunity to appreciate the intimacy of sleeping together.

"The physical distance from sleeping in separate beds may enhance longing and desire for one another, contributing to a more passionate and fulfilling relationship, and increasing how meaningful the relationship is for both individuals."

Apparently, this helps to build deeper emotional connections and improve your level of happiness in the relationship, so it might be worth a shot.

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