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A narcissist has issued a warning against people who want to get a ‘formal diagnosis'.
Jacob Skidmore - known online as The Nameless Narcissist - has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and is on a mission to explain the complexities of NPD and other mental health conditions.
The US-based content creator has gained over 200,000 followers across social media for providing insight into the condition, which is broadly defined as having a 'pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy'.
Speaking to LADbible, Jacob said: "Nowadays I’m (obviously) very open about my condition but, since I was aware of the opinion most people had about it, I didn’t tell anyone for around two years.
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"I know some people with NPD that have gone decades without disclosing it out of fear of judgement. That’s the issue with having such a shame driven disorder.
"It’s hard to tell anyone something that you think they’ll judge you for.
"Whenever I attempt to be vulnerable with my friends it’s like the shame catches the words in my throat and I psychically can’t say it.
"It’s a palpable terror at the idea of something thinking anything bad about me."
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When the Ohio native told people for the first time that he had NPD, they didn't believe him.
"Funnily enough, a few people in my life didn’t believe me when I told them about my diagnosis," he added.
"The people close to me knew I was, neurotic, to say the least (they’d probably sooner use the word 'crazy') but since I was trying to hide my diagnosis for a long time, they thought my reactionary nature, anger and mood swings were caused by something like depression or bipolar disorder."
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The content creator revealed that he used to work as a prison guard before being discharged from the military.
He now relies on a variety of freelance work to pay his bills, ranging from coding to delivery jobs.
Jacob says that the flexibility is vital so he can 'work on my mental health'.
However, when asked if people with symptoms should get diagnosed, Jacob says he would avoid giving the 'label' too much importance.
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"Honestly, no. I would tell them to seek therapy and work on their issues, but I would discourage getting a formal diagnosis unless it's absolutely necessary for your treatment," he explained.
"Purely due to the fact that it can be limiting to you in what you desire going forward. For example, having a diagnosis of a personality disorder can disqualify you from enlisting in the military. Thankfully I was diagnosed after I was enlisted.
"And understanding the issues that are impacting you and your loved ones and addressing them are way more important than any label you could slap on yourself.
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"And while it can be helpful to understand yourself through the lens of the disorder, it’s important to remember that everyone, narcissist or not, is different."
He went on: "There are as many presentations of NPD as there are people with the disorder.
"I wouldn’t discourage someone from getting a diagnosis if they feel like it would be validating, I may even encourage it then, but we should be far more focused on the behaviours than the label."
Although he makes it very clear that those who have suffered any form of 'hurt' from someone with NPD deserve to be taken seriously.
"If you needed to distance yourself or go no contact that’s valid," Jacob explained. "You need to put your own needs first. Them getting better is a decision they have to make, and a very personal one at that.
"You cannot be expected to be their therapist. But that being said, we aren’t monsters. We’re broken people.
"And I encourage people to have compassion, even if at a distance. I used to hate people with borderline personality disorder due to my own trauma.
"And that hate did me no favours. What did help me is understanding the pain I went through wasn’t personal to me, that they did care about me, but that they’re sick.
"And while I needed to distance myself for my own safety, letting go of the hate I had and understanding the condition is the only thing that gave me any sort of peace.
"It’s sad for all parties involved. We’re all traumatized and we all deserve healing. But all we can be expected to do is work on ourselves."
According to the NHS, common features of a personality disorder include:
- being overwhelmed by negative feelings like distress, anxiety, worthlessness or anger
- avoiding other people
- feeling empty and emotionally disconnected
- odd behaviour
- difficulty maintaining stable and close relationships, especially with partners, children and professional carers
- periods of losing contact with reality
If you believe you could have NPD, then it's best to go to your GP for an official diagnosis and treatment.
To check out Jacob's videos, click on the following link - The Nameless Narcissist
Topics: Health, TikTok, Mental Health, Social Media
Anish Vij