Sex addiction is highly stigmatised, which can lead to people not seeking help. But if you notice that you or someone else presents these three signs, you need to speak to someone.
When it comes to sex addiction, there is often the question of whether engaging in excessive sexual practices is actually a sign on addiction or not.
According to an expert, there are three things to flag as being signs of an addition, and you don’t have to do all of them to be considered an addict.
According to I'm Nicholas Amitrano, a therapist at Cedar Tree Counseling, ‘addiction isn't based on how often the behaviour occurs, it centres on a person's inability to control their behaviour, especially if it is impacting their life in negative ways'.
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He explained that the addiction will act like a compulsion, where the urges are ‘difficult to manage’ and hard to control.
So, simply thinking about doing something sexual doesn’t constitute as an addiction, but if you find yourself unable to stop yourself from acting on it, or finding it hard to stop yourself, that’s where you’re in a pickle.
According to The International Sex Survey, around 4.69 percent of people in the UK are at high risk of compulsive sexual behaviour.
Finding it hard to go without sex
He explained that the first sign of sex addiction is ‘finding it hard to cut back on sexual behaviours, especially when you know that your sexual behaviours are a problem’.
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Amitrano explained: “Finding it difficult to go a couple of days or even a week without performing certain sexual practices can all also signal the presence of addiction.”
Always prioritising sexual gratification
The second sign of sex addiction is when you ‘prioritise sexual gratification over other areas of your life.’
Now, this could be that you’re dedicating so much time towards sexual behaviours that you have fallen behind at school, work or you’ve even lost close relationships due to it.
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The expert said: “For example, this sign can manifest as consistently cancelling plans to meet up with sexual partners or being unable to fulfil responsibilities because of taking excessive time to watch pornography.”
Risky behaviour
The third sign of sex addiction is the performance of ‘risky and inappropriate behaviours’ to satisfy your need for excitement.
Amitrano shared that for some, ‘safe behaviours don't obtain the same level of excitement they achieved at the beginning’, so as time goes on, ‘the addiction demands a more powerful, oftentimes risky or socially inappropriate behaviour to satisfy its needs’.
Now, these examples are quite serious and can even be a crime.
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Amitrano said: “Common examples include touching yourself in public, masturbating in public places openly, flirting with other people when it is clear they are not interested, inappropriately touching others or taking pictures of other people without their permission for the purpose of sexual pleasure.”
He shared that if you feel as though you have been exhibiting these three behaviours, there’s hope.
The expert said that there are multiple sources of support for those experiencing sex addiction, such as 12-step programmes, or asking your friends ‘to become accountability partners’.
You can also set an appointment with a counsellor who specialises in sex addiction to help you with your struggles.
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If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article, or would like to seek support or further information, you can contact Sex Addicts Anonymous on their website, where email addresses and phone numbers – including a dedicated women's line and LGBTQ+ contact – can be found.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Sex Education, Health, Mental Health
Britt Jones