Are you in the presence of a narcissist?
According to psychologist Kathleen Saxton, there’s an easy way to spot the signs if you’re suspicious.
The criteria for being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder is a wide spectrum, however, it does range from commonly seen symptoms which ranges from a lack of empathy to being preoccupied success and power.
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However, it’s still a misunderstood disorder, with a lot of people either minimising it or overusing the term.
According to Saxton, around 0.5%–1% of people will be formally diagnosed, but the number of people with narcissism is growing.
So, you need to know what to look out for if you want to steer clear of those who enjoy taking the joy from others.
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Imagine you’re at your birthday party, graduation or work promotion event and your partner slowly begins to stonewall your attempts of talking to them, will turn their back to you and will blatantly ignore you for seemingly not reason.
You go home and they decide to sleep in another room or as far away from you as possible and it leaves you feeling confused, alone and worried about what you could have done to provoke such treatment.
The answer: It’s not you, it’s them.
According to psychotherapists and Saxton, the silent treatment is a commonly used tactic by narcissistic people to abuse their victims.
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But why is this a narcissist’s go-to punishment?
The silent treatment is an effective way to avoid a person and also inflict pain upon them, emotionally so that they avoid conflict in the future.
It’s a deeply traumatic cycle to be ignored one day for no reason and then everything returns to normal without an explanation.
Or even worse, with gaslighting.
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According to research by Prof Kip Williams, the parts of the brain that recognise physical pain are also activated by experiencing the silent treatment.
It also sets off the body’s stress response system, which can have a detrimental effect on your physical and mental health, if exposed to this type of treatment in the long term.
If you feel as though this is happening to you, don’t engage with the person.
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Saxon recommends to steer clear from accusation and pointed words like ‘you did blah blah’ as not to spark conflict.
However, she also mentions that everyone deserves to be loved in a way that’s healthy.
So, if your partner has a penchant for gaslighting you and constantly using the silent treatment as an effective method to control you, run for the hills.
Topics: Sex and Relationships